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Being Different: Walking against the crowd.

I would like to say I am "Normal" like everyone else but I have always marched to my own rhythm which is often out of step with the others around me.

It first began when I was child in grade school. I would fight my own sleep cycle to stay awake at least until Midnight when the local tv stations would sign off with the famous lines "This completes our broadcast day" followed by the national anthem.

It was in grade school when I recall looking at another male classmate while talking about another male student when I said, "Do you ever wonder what it's like to date him?"

I think I was in the fifth grade when I first gave any indication that I was interested in other guys. However, this when I was probably around ten years old and 1987-8 and Arkansas so that kind of thought never came back out of my mouth for a long time.

So, now I am this guy who has silenced himself and living within his own mind. As the years would go by I found myself coming out of the closet more than once. It was until I had entered college that I began to accept that I was bisexual.

Yet, being bisexual was a horrible place to be because the straight people didn't want to know you and only a tiny portion of the gay community thought you were being honest with yourself.

I cannot count the number of times I head the phrase, he is gay just hasn't met the right guy yet or he just wants to be gay he is actually straight.

However, as mentioned early I not like other people. I am polyamorous or more simply put ethical non-monogamous. What this means is, I believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time and as long as the other persons involved are okay with such a relationship there is nothing wrong with such a lifestyle.

So, here I am like me or not it is who I am and all that matters is that I am happy with myself even if the unique road I am on can be very lonely most of the time.


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